


The Good in the World

by adrianna_m_scovill



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Smut, F/M, Holidays, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:13:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21918877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adrianna_m_scovill/pseuds/adrianna_m_scovill
Summary: For a request for smutty holiday Rollisi
Relationships: Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr. & Amanda Rollins, Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr./Amanda Rollins
Comments: 7
Kudos: 97





	The Good in the World

He was still dressed as Santa Claus when she got back to the living room, and she knew she shouldn’t be surprised. He wouldn’t risk taking the costume off while there was any chance the girls could spot him.

He got to his feet when Rollins walked into the room, unfolding himself from the sofa with a little more effort than usual; the padding around his middle changed the way he carried himself, but she knew the familiar lanky frame was under there somewhere.

“They’re sleeping,” she said, crossing toward him.

“Oh, good. Okay, well I’ll get outta your hair—”

“Sonny.” She reached out a hand, laying her palm against the fake velvet over his chest. “You didn’t have to do this. Thank you.”

“Hey, what’re friends for?” he asked. He was smiling, but there was a hint of wariness in his eyes that she knew was her fault.

“I mean it. You saved my ass. Jesse was _never_ gonna forgive me—”

“This isn’t their last year for visiting Santa,” Carisi said. “It’s not your fault you had to work.”

“Tell them that,” she muttered, trying not to think about how much Jesse had cried. Her tears had broken Rollins’s heart.

And then Santa Claus magically appeared at their door to save the day. Without being asked, with nothing more than a texted **my kids hate me for this** , Carisi had found himself a Santa costume on Christmas Eve and shown up at her apartment with presents, candy canes, and a smile.

“They’ll realize what a great mom they got,” he assured her. “They’re young. I know it’s hard—”

She leaned up on impulse and kissed his cheek above the fake beard. “Thanks,” she mumbled. She couldn’t explain how badly she’d needed to hear someone tell her that she wasn’t a failure as a parent. No, not just someone, but someone whose opinion actually mattered. Someone who cared about her.

Someone she loved.

Carisi put a hand on her arm but then stilled, watching her. She swallowed, her face an inch from his, and met his eyes. “You don’t got a thing for Santa, do you?” he asked quietly. His tone was lightly teasing, or at least trying to be.

“No.” She reached up and pulled the white beard down, tucking it under his chin to reveal his face. His breath was soft and warm and smelled like peppermint. “Can you stay for a drink?” she asked, taking a step back.

“Sure.” He let his hand fall away from her arm but his eyes never left her face. “Can I take off the getup?”

She glanced down his body and gave him a look of exaggerated suspicion. “Are you wearing clothes under there?”

He laughed. The Christmas lights danced in his eyes. “Yes. Getting here was bad enough, you think I wanna get back on the subway as Santa—on Christmas Eve? I hid a coat in the bag—”

“Wait, you didn’t drive here?” She eyed his stomach. “Too much padding?”

He laughed again. “No—I didn’t want to risk Jesse seeing my car. Prob’ly ridiculous, I know, but—What?”

“Nothing,” she said, turning away quickly to hide the sudden shine in her eyes. She started toward the kitchen. “That’s real sweet, Sonny,” she assured him as she went, unable to voice the rest of what she was thinking.

“I didn’t mean to overstep,” he said behind her. “I know I shoulda asked before I came—”

“But I haven’t exactly been a good friend lately.”

“What? That’s not what—”

“You don’t have to say it,” she said, opening the refrigerator to grab two bottles of beer. “I know I was a bitch to you, Sonny, and I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve it.”

“You’re all under a lot more stress since I left,” he answered while she used the edge of the counter to knock off the bottle caps. “I didn’t mean that—We’re good, Amanda, least as far’s I’m concerned.”

She turned to find that he’d shrugged out of the oversized coat and padding and was standing in a white t-shirt and the baggy red pants. She stopped, momentarily struck motionless—and speechless—by the sight of him.

He seemed oblivious as he bent to pull off one black boot, then the other. “I just meant I wasn’t sure if you had plans.” He straightened and shucked the Santa pants down past his hips to reveal the faded jeans beneath. “With Declan, or…Al…”

“What?” she asked as her brain finally spluttered back to life. She shook her head and forced her feet to start moving again.

“With the girls? If their dads were going to…” He trailed off, staring at her as she approached.

“You’re more like a dad to them than their fathers,” she said—and maybe her brain _wasn’t_ quite functioning, because she certainly hadn’t meant to say that out loud.

“Oh, I’m…sorry,” he said.

She laughed in surprise. “Sorry?” she repeated. “Sonny, being a nice guy isn’t something to apologize for.”

“No, I meant…” He fidgeted, glancing around at her decorated apartment. “I’m sorry they’re not here for you.”

“I don’t want them here,” she said. It was true, but she didn’t mean to put quite so much force behind the words. She softened her tone. “Look, they’re fine, alright? They sent presents, money.”

“But they didn’t offer to take the girls to see Santa for you. If they were my kids—” He cut himself off abruptly and his expression tightened.

She stepped closer and handed him a beer, her fingers brushing his as he took it. “You’re gonna be a great father someday, Sonny,” she said quietly. “You brought them presents they actually _wanted_ —and more than that, you came all the way over here just to make them happy.”

“Not just them,” he murmured.

She looked down at his shirt and swallowed. “They light up when they see you, costume or not. They love you.”

“I love them,” he said, the words barely audible. “Amanda…” He reached out tentatively to touch her sleeve. “I know things are different but you know I’ll always be around if you need me, right?” Her vision blurred and she bit her lip, nodding. “You don’t have to do everything on your own. I know you can, but you don’t have anything to prove—”

“Sonny,” she breathed, raising her gaze to his. “I’m sorry I gave you a hard time. I am happy for you, y’know? You deserve all the good in the world.”

He lifted his hand to tuck her hair behind her ear and she stared at him, suddenly unable to breathe. “You and your kids _are_ the good in this world,” he said. “When I was a kid, all I wanted to be was a priest or a cop, wanted to help people, y’know? Then when I started to think about law school, only a few people supported me. Believed in me.”

“I never doubted—”

“I know. I know you didn’t.” His hand settled lightly onto her shoulder, his fingers curled toward the curve of her neck. “Because of a few of you—you, Liv, Barba, some of my family—I actually had the guts to do it. And think I could be good at it. And that’s a real good thing, Amanda, because…” He hesitated, chewing his lip for a moment as he searched her face. She saw his resolve when he decided to continue: “I’m not sure it’s possible to be a good cop when you’re in love with your partner. Least I don’t know how to do it. It makes ‘priority of life’ feel not just hard but near impossible, all you can think about is what if something—”

“I know.” She spoke in a whisper but it was enough to stop him. She felt the pad of his thumb brush against the side of her neck. She leaned up and paused, looking for signs of hesitation in his eyes, but his gaze was steady. She pressed a kiss to his cheek, and then the corner of his mouth. His fingers slipped up into her hair but his touch was gentle, without pressure.

She held onto his shirt with her free hand and turned her face so her lips were almost touching his, pausing again as their soft breaths mingled. He touched his forehead to hers for a moment, and then his lips caressed hers in a light kiss.

“’manda,” he breathed.

She pulled back and took the beer from his hand. She set both bottles on the end table and met his eyes. They stood looking at each other for a couple of seconds, and then his mouth was on hers and her hands were fumbling to get his shirt over his head. His fingers were tracing the lines of her body, touching everywhere at once, burning hot trails through her clothes and into her skin.

They stripped out of their clothes on the way to the bedroom. Carisi’s hands were skating over every inch of her like he was memorizing her body. She broke away from his kiss long enough to close and lock the door and then his tongue was in her mouth again. She pushed him backward onto the bed and followed him down, straddling his hips.

He turned his face away from hers to draw a ragged breath. She took the opportunity to lick and kiss at his neck and shoulders and chest, flicking her tongue against one nipple and then the other. His hands trailed over her back and hips and ass, and a shiver passed through his body when she rocked against him.

“I don’t have protection,” he said quietly.

She hesitated, trying to focus through the desire, trying to remember if she had condoms anywhere in the apartment. “I’m on birth control,” she said.

“We don’t have to do this now,” he said, even though his erection was pinned beneath her and she could see the flush of desire in his cheeks.

She wouldn’t blame him if he had reservations. “If you’re worried—” she started, but she stopped when he reached up to cup his hands to her face.

“I’m not,” he assured her. “But there’s plenty of time.”

She stared down at him, overwhelmed by how much she loved him. She ducked her head to kiss him—slow and tender this time, letting her lips linger against his—and his thumbs stroked her cheeks.

“Are you sure?” he murmured against her mouth.

“Yes,” she answered. She’d never been more sure of wanting anyone or anything.

He moved his hands to her waist and shifted, rolling her over onto her back and covering her body with his own. His erection was hot and heavy against her thigh and she moved her hips automatically, searching for more. He kissed her again, long and slow, before trailing his lips down her neck. His hands roamed her skin with a reverence that brought the sting of tears to her eyes.

“God, you’re beautiful,” he breathed, once more lifting his head to find her mouth with his lips. One of his hands slid between her legs and she arched against his fingers, gasping into his kiss. “Do you need anything?” he asked.

“You,” she said, throwing a leg around his hips. She fisted a hand into his hair, pulling his mouth back to hers as he slipped a finger into her wetness. He swallowed her moan and ran a teasing thumb over her clit. She flexed her thighs, trying to get closer, digging her fingers into his ass to urge him on.

“So perfect,” he murmured, kissing down her jaw and sucking lightly at her throat. “I wanna make this last,” he breathed against her skin.

“Next time,” she gasped, once more arching her back to push herself against his fingers. “Sonny, please, I just need you inside me.”

“Okay,” he said, lifting his head to meet her eyes. “You’re so beautiful.” He bent his elbow around her head, his fingers caressing the hair at her temple, and ducked down to brush his lips against her. “Perfect,” he repeated, and she actually believed he meant it. She swallowed against the lump of emotion in her throat and pulled at his hips. She made a sound of encouragement against his lips when she felt him shift into place, and then his eyes were on hers again. Her breath caught and she stared up at him, unable to look away as he slowly entered her body. 


End file.
